2 Become 1
- NJ
- Jan 22
- 2 min read
'Woman Seen from the Back' by Onésipe Aguado de las Marismas, ca. 1862
I laughed out loud when I saw the headline — a reminder that there was still good in the world. Seeing that she’d achieved her first ever number one in the charts, it seemed as if the public had quietly, collectively given her a hug and a metaphorical pat on the hand, as if to say, Don’t worry, love. Kids will be kids. Here’s a number one, just to show we care.
I don’t know her, of course, but she has lived in my periphery for the last three decades. I am, and always will be, a proud Spice Girls fan. They changed everything about what it meant to be a girl and held my hand through many a heartbreak.
I felt profoundly relieved for her. Not because I’ve taken sides — I’ve no idea what’s happening in their family, despite the endless media reporting and the fragments they’ve shared themselves. But when Brooklyn’s statement on Instagram was released, I felt mortified for her. To have the words inappropriate and on me spread uncontrollably across the world like a virus that could never be contained, flooding the internet with endless memes.
(I really winced for her when they compared her to Amanda from Motherland — though in other contexts, where I was less led by projection and childhood protective defences, I would have praised it as a perfect satirical choice.)
I know what it feels like to have the most intimate details of your life dissected by people you’ve never met. Judged. Torn apart and thrown back at you in disgust. I know what it feels like to be shamed and exposed. Knowing that shouting from the rooftops would achieve nothing, but having fantasies of doing so with a megaphone.
Although her only — first, who knows, don’t rule it out — number one will probably be a strange silver lining to the darkest of clouds, as it doesn’t change the fact that it is a byproduct of an unimaginably painful rift between a family - and a mother and son - who love each other.
A family grieving in public view for a time that can never be again.
